Doctors usually care deeply about their work and their patients. But our health care system does not train doctors well to talk and listen to their patients. And it does not reward them for respecting their patients.
You will probably be treated differently by different caregivers. Some will be as helpful as they can. Others may not care that you wait two hours in the doctor's office. Some doctors and nurses will do all they can to make sure you understand your treatment choices. They may even give you phone numbers where you can call them after hours. Others will expect you to do what they tell you without question.
You may have special needs that your doctors and nurses don't understand. And we all have our own set of values and preferences. Your doctors and nurses should respect your values and preferences.
There are things you can do to get the respect you deserve.
What You Can Do:
You and your doctors need to work together. You both have information to share. That means you both have to give honest and complete information so you can get the best care. For example, if you are taking alternative medicines or other therapies but don't tell your doctors, they could advise the wrong care.
Ask a family member, friend, or breast cancer advocate to come with you to the doctor. This tells your doctor that you want to learn about your breast cancer. With someone at your side, you'll ask better questions. You'll remember more. And you'll become a respectful partner with your doctors.
No one should ever expect you to have an important talk about your health when you're not fully clothed. It will probably be more comfortable to first meet your doctor in his or her office with your clothes on. And if you do need to undress for something, ask for comfortable robes that cover you.
Time can be a real problem for patients. Our health care system wastes patients' time and often doesn't give them enough time with their caregivers. Doctors and nurses need to hear loudly that valuing their time over yours is unfair and stressful. You can:
If someone is really disrespectful, do us all a favor and let someone know. You may complain to your health plan and/or change doctors. To complain, call the customer service department of your health plan. (The number should be in a booklet you got from your health plan.) Ask how to file a complaint. One complaint may not make a big difference. But if you complain, and other patients do too, things may change.